When it comes to having a baby, one of the most difficult decisions to make is what you’re going to call the little one.One woman thought she and her husband had come up with the perfect name for their son and had worked out a very unique spelling.However two months after giving birth to their child, the mum was horrified to discover that the name they had chosen, wasn’t actually his legal name – according to the birth certificate.Writing to Care and Feeding, an advice column on Slate.com, a woman known only as Mama Bear revealed how she discovered her husband had changed her son’s name, without telling her.
The American mum claims the incident occurred while she was unconscious and recovering from a C-section.And while she’s furious with her husband for not telling her, she knows the real person to blame is her mother-in-law who “guilt-tripped” him into making the change.The parent wrote: “Dear Care and Feeding, my son is two months old, and I just discovered my husband spelled our son’s middle name as ‘Finlay’ instead of ‘Finley’ on all his legal documentation.”I, of course, am furious, because I told him I was fine with the middle name but it had to be spelled Finley – and he agreed before our son was ever born.”
She goes on to reveal that she started to suspect something was up when her husband’s mother sent a Christmas card to her son, featuring the incorrect spelling.However she only discovered what they had done when she was filing all her son’s paperwork away for safe keeping.”He just let me keep believing for two months that our son’s middle name was spelt Finley when it legally isn’t,” the outraged mum continued. “He says he regretted it as soon as the card came and has been afraid to tell me.”Apparently his mother guilt-tripped him into doing this while I was asleep after my emergency C-section. Keep in mind she lives a few states away, so this was all over the phone.”She tried to convince him to give our son a first name that I very much hated, saying that I would ‘get mad, but get over it’.
“My husband thought changing his first name was too much but apparently gave in to spelling his middle name the way his mom wanted. She thinks that ‘Finlay’ is more masculine that ‘Finley’.”The woman goes on to describe the mother-in-law as “manipulative” and asks whether she should confront her about the whole thing.The agony aunt is incredulous and advises not approaching the in-laws as a “fistfight” might break out.
She adds: “What in the entire f*** is up with your husband? He’s got to decide if you are his co-parent or if his mother is. And until he makes that decision, he can’t be trusted. Period.”Purposefully changing the name of your child on a birth certificate behind your back is pretty close to a fireable offense if you ask me. “I’m mad just reading about this. You and your kid deserve so much better.”